If ABC Had Moderated the Lincoln-Douglas Debates

Via BoingBoing, I found this transcript from Obsidian Wings of the Lincoln-Douglas debates if ABC News had been moderating:

LINCOLN: In my opinion, slavery will not cease, until a crisis shall have been reached and passed. "A house divided against itself cannot stand." I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Excuse me, did an Elijah H. Johnson attend your church?
LINCOLN: When I was a boy in Illinois forty years ago, yes. I think he was a deacon.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Are you aware that he regularly called Kentucky “a land of swine and whores”?
LINCOLN: Sounds right -- his ex-wife was from Kentucky.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Why did you remain in the church after hearing those statements?
LINCOLN: I was eight.
DOUGLAS: This is an important question George -- it's an issue that certainly will be raised in the fall.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you denounce him?
LINCOLN: I’d like to get back to the divided house if I may.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you denounce and reject him?
LINCOLN: If it will make you shut up, yes, I denounce and reject him.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Do you denounce and reject him with sugar on top?

In the midst of this nonsense, Senator Douglas did find time to insert an important point:

DOUGLAS: When I was 11, my grandpappy and I chopped wood and shot bears.

It's true that in the mid 19th century, journalism was, in many ways, much rougher than today. But it's hard to imagine it could have been much dumber.